Bereavement is as unique as a fingerprint

Four months after she lost her husband Sarah Weaver had to face Christmas as a single parent. Thirteen years on, it remains a tricky season. She shares her story and advice for anyone coping with bereavement this Christmas.

My husband Matt died suddenly in August 2011. Our boys Zach and Josh were just four and six. Looking back, our first Christmas without Matt was a total blur.

People advise you to start putting new Christmas traditions in place when you lose someone, but we were only four months down the line. I was still in a fog. I’d only just gone back to work and I didn’t know what I was doing.

The first Christmas

Getting ready for that first Christmas was a massive challenge. For the first time, I had sole responsibility for deciding what to buy the boys. As I shopped, all I could see was couples or families.

I stretched myself to the limit financially as I overcompensated for the fact they no longer had their dad around. I wanted to get the right balance while keeping things going for them. On the one hand they still wanted to see Santa and do other normal things, but on the other it was important for them to have the option to talk about their dad when they were missing him and finding it tough.

… story continues